I have a problem; I can't focus on one project without getting bored and starting over. Take FartDump.com, for instance; it originally came about from a meme Facebook page, then it was a personal blog, a satirical site, then a meme-sharing site, then a development site, and is slowly becoming a blog and ai image site. That's just in the last seven months.
Wisedocks.com started with me wanting to make a personal blog site; then, I transitioned to history and astronomy articles and added entertainment articles and quizzes later. Now it hosts quote images I make in Photoshop, all within the same timeframe.
I had another site that suffered the same fate and no longer exists as of a few days ago.
I'm in my 40s, and the longest I've held a job is four years. Don't get me wrong, I always have a job lined up, but I don't want to stay in one place for more than a couple of years before I need a change of scenery. Promotions are just more responsibility and stress but at the same place. Nope.
Plus, knowing that I don't intend to stay in any one place, I'm more free to be myself. No ass-kissing or filtering my dirty mouth. I curse like a sailor, and I don't give a shit if you are the CEO; I'll say, "What's up, fucker?" to them all. I clock in, kick-ass, and go home. The crazy thing is I'm a great worker. Managers are usually left scratching their heads that I would come in, out perform nearly everyone, and not want a promotion. Even more so when I leave so abruptly after they see how well I am working and start to assume I'll always be there.
The confusion in their voice when they inevitably call a week or so after I stop showing up is always a hoot.
So anyway, back to the websites. One year ago, I got bored and decided to start a website again after not having one for over ten years. I've always enjoyed running websites; the only problem is that I have the same problem staying focused in real life as well. It is challenging to run a website dedicated to a specific topic when the things that interest me change constantly.
The plan was to start working on a site and see where it goes. That one website ballooned to four then back to one then back up to four. Three is the current number, which should be all I need for the forseeable future. Here is my current breakdown and thought process.
I've always had a fondness for quotes, so I've decided that Wisedocks will serve as my quote repository, to which I can contribute whenever the mood strikes. The challenge lies in the pressure I place on myself to consistently add new quotes daily. I've also started sharing these quotes on social media and have garnered a growing audience that looks forward to them each day, which makes me reluctant to halt this sharing.
Lately, I've been revisiting and sharing older quotes, primarily because I've not been in the frame of mind to create new ones. Unfortunately, I've noticed my focus waning, which, in turn, is diminishing my interest in the site. But, I don't view this as negative; perhaps a break might do some good. It may allow me to come back later with renewed enthusiasm. I realize that forcing myself to continually work on the site might eventually lead to burnout.
It's doubtful that many people will notice if I stop posting to social media for a month or so. Besides it's summertime so there aren't as many people online as much as they are in the colder months.
StellarHistory.com has been a low-maintenance site since I migrated the FartDump software. I love writing history and astronomy articles, just not all the time. I can always add new articles only when the mood hits me. Nearly all of the traffic to the site is from search engines, and there is no social media following. This is a relief as I don't have to post to social media to keep the site active. Plus, the articles I write over there are fairly evergreen so they will stay relevant for years to come.
I'm planning on continuing the development of FartDump, aligning its code to my other sites, but there's still the task of integrating Wisedocks. My intention is to retain this site as my personal blog. My track record with blogging has been inconsistent, repeatedly creating and then removing them, a process that's sadly resulted in the loss of countless posts over the past year. I've decided to break this cycle of deletion and starting over.
My drive for maintaining a blog isn't to gain attention; I'm indifferent to whether my posts gain any readership.
The primary purpose of this blog is as a personal reference, a way for me to revisit past experiences and thoughts. I've pondered the idea of making FartDump private, thereby allowing me to write more candidly and specifically. As it stands, if I want to vent about work, I must be purposely vague to avoid any potential workplace fallout if someone stumbles upon it. Although I can be quite brusque at work, I like to think I offset it with my humor. Broadcasting my work grievances online, however, could jeopardize my job and leave me hunting for a new one. But, at least for now, FartDump will remain public.
This post or variations of it feels like it's been written more than 20 times, primarily for my own understanding. It's like thinking aloud, laying out my plan and goals even when I'm aware they might change by tomorrow. Posts like these serve as my reminders to stay focused.
As for the endgame of these websites, I'm still uncertain. But there's an undeniable inner voice pushing me to continue, indicating that this is what I want. I may not have a solid plan yet, but it's gradually coming into focus. All in its own time.
These past few months have been the longest I've stayed the course. The plan is coming into focus; let's hope it stays that way.