FartDump Feed

New Stickers

I just ordered new FartDump stickers a month ago, now that I redesigned the logo I have to order more.

The new design is more raw and cartoony, I like it! This site is held together with spit and what little bit of glue left that I haven't ate, this icon portrays that nicely.

Today I worked on the assets for Baby Launcher, and I managed to get half way through them before my wrist gave out from drawing. I should be able to finish it up tomorrow. 

The sitemap got a much needed update today as well, now all of my entries to the feed are dynamically added. That tiny feature has been on the to do list for a long time. Now I just need to draw new icons to replace the thumbs up and heart emojis that I have been lazily been using since I built the feed. The emoji panel in Windows 11 is too convenient, but I really need to stop using it in code as it puts off real AI vibes.

I'm Still Back Here Working On Graphics

I am still learning and improving on the sites icons. My first attempt was not that great, and I have been attempting to rectify the situation by learning how to draw properly.

The first mistake I made was to make the new icons WAY too small initially. The icons on the homepage are displayed at roughly 100 pixels, so I was drawing the new images at 150 pixels thinking that would be enough to make them look good when down-scaled. It was not.

Now, I am redrawing each icon and asset at 1500 pixels, then scaling them down closer to their display size. This greatly increases the resolution.

So, now everything needs to be redrawn from scratch and that takes me a very long while to get everything right. I'm trying not to slap them together like I have been on the comics. The icons and other game assets need to look much nicer. So, it may take me awhile, but I have been chipping away at them. For example, here is the first try at the Baby Launcher icon versus what it looks like now.

I'm not even sure how long it took me to completely redraw just this one image, but it is more than 4 hours, lol. This may take me a few moons. But, I am here for it. Let's go!

The Mind, She Wanders

I was working on the new icons, then I got distracted.

An idea hit me... "What if I drew comics for site updates?" The comic could potentially replace the updates page and this micro-blog. So, I slapped one together, thought it was funny, then wanted to keep going. So, I built a page to show them. Simple, single page comics.

I have been using Photopea which is free and great BTW, but it isn't exactly setup for drawing comics. Then my attention shifted from creating icons to looking for software that could draw comics and perhaps also help with the icons and other site graphics.

One thing led to another and I now have Clip Studio Paint installed and can't stop drawing.

I think I will keep the updates page and this micro-blog and just slowly transition the comic into funny comics crudely drawn and based on the characters from FartDump.

I'm still trying to draw with a mouse, so the outcomes are... interesting. I've tried drawing on a tablet, but it doesn't feel very natural, granted the tablet I have available is not very high-end. If my interest continues with the drawing, I may invest in a better tablet more suited for drawing and just go ape shit with it.

It also doesn't help that I'm artistically declined. Is that the right word?

I can't draw pretty, but I know how to make myself laugh. At the end of the day, I do this for the LOLZ. 

I'm Listening!

You guys have forced me to do something that I have been putting off for years now; hand-drawn icons. I am no artist so when I need a quick graphic, I do use AI.

This week there was a secret on the wall about how the site is using AI. At first, I was in denial; this site is being built with love in vanilla PHP, HTML, CSS, and JavaScript, how on Earth would anyone think this site is AI? Then someone commented about the icons being AI.

Oh Yeah! They are. My bad!

For my next game on the site, I really want to make a pixel art style game, so the stars have aligned and I am now forcing myself to learn how to draw. Give me time! Over the next few weeks I will be hand drawing and replacing every AI image that is used on FartDump. I thought about leaving the logo as-is, but I may redraw it as well if I can get it to look right.

So, thank you guys for giving me a push to take care of something that I should have done long ago. The original plan was to just spin up a few icons with AI then slowly replace them with authentic drawings later and I got lazy.

I set the copyright date at the bottom of the website to automatically update each year. This was done a few years ago on another of my websites with a simple snippet. Since I set the $site_name on each site I run, this was an easy copy and paste across all websites. The thing is, I had a typo that I haven't noticed until yesterday. 

  <div class="copyright">
    &copy; 2002 - <?= date("Y"); ?> <?= htmlspecialchars($site_name) ?>.com
  </div>

It was suppose to show 2022, but I've been unknowingly advertising that all of my websites have been around for over 20 years. My bad!

Wisedocks has been around in some form or fashion since 2006, however, Fartdump and all of my other currently running websites have only been operational since 2022.

I know you don't care, but fuck you, you still needed to know this. 😂

Hear me out… camouflage socks that only go on your toes.
"Camo Toes."

Don’t steal my billion dollar idea.

Actually why are camo painted toenails NOT a thing yet? Society has failed us.

New Mobile Menu

Today, I finally tackled something that has been on my to-do list for quite some time. The sticky header on the top of the site on phones and tablets has been moved to the bottom of the screen. This was not an easy thing to do because the header has been the foundation that everything on the site is set to. For instance, when you play one of the canvas based games like Baby Launcher, the game checks the header-height and makes sure it sits below it. 

The reason i decided it was time was because of the games themselves. I have been racking my brain trying to make the games easier to play initially. Baby Launcher is a good example as it needs to be played in landscape mode. So you first get an overlay asking you to rotate your phone then another overlay so the game can ask for your permission to go full screen. This is because most devices need tap permissions to anything. I can't just make the game go immediately full screen without your permission. That's why the games ask you to tap the screen.

I still haven't found an elegant solution to that particular problem, but the rabbit hole I went down in the process led me to make the change and get the bottom menu fully functional. As a result, the site feels much more app like on mobile devices.

Another issue was tackled as well. When you visit the site on an Android device, your device will constantly bug you to install the app since the website is a PWA (Progressive Web App).

I suppressed the prompt on Android and added a simple banner asking you to install the app if you want, but you can dismiss this prompt for 30 days if you don't want to install.

At the moment the installed PWA doesn't mean much because when you install the website it simply puts a shortcut on your home screen. You still need an active internet connection to use the site because I don't include things like the games or wall of secrets for offline use. The secrets would be pointless off line obviously, but the games are still internet dependent simply because I modify them constantly. They are works in progress. 

As I get games into a more finalized state where I'm not modifying them so much, I may include them into the PWA files so that you can play them offline if you want. I have made an offline page so if you have the app installed but don't have internet you can play the Dotz game. It is simple and has no database dependencies so that was a no brainer.

This Is A Bad Idea

There are a few things I know I needed to do, but it was going to cause trouble when I did it. I still had some API endpoints and AJAX files sitting in random places around FartDump. There are several reasons as to why that was a bad idea. Yesterday, I finally decided to start cleaning things up a bit. I am mostly done, but for those of you who have installed the website there could be some issues. 

I have implemented as much cache busting as possible but if you are having issues submitting scores on the games, submitting secrets, comments, or voting on those secrets this is likely why. Your device has cached the JavaScript files that run those functions and the old files are aimed at old file locations. If you are still having issues you can try closing the app completely and restarting it, the service worker should download fresh files.

Hit me up if you are still having troubles. Contact Me

FartDump Android App

The FartDump Android App is currently in closed alpha testing. If you would like to join the closed alpha and help me flush out any bugs, you can do so by first joining the FartDump Google Group here: https://groups.google.com/g/fartdump and then you may install the app here: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.fartdump.twa 

Canvas Games Fun

Today was spent working on how the canvas based games are displayed. They work great on desktop, but mobile has been a bit of a pain. If you install FartDump.com then you would not have noticed anything as they work pretty good there too. The issue is on mobile browsers. The chrome or the bar at the top of the page with the address bar was causing the games to be pushed out of the viewport. 

That's why I switched the rendered game heights from viewport(vw) to dynamic view port(dvw) and also adjusted how everything is scaled on the games. It is still not bullet proof, but it is much better than it was. Doing so also allowed me to ditch the mandatory portrait mode for the Plunger Drop game.

Progressive Web Application

I've been doing quite a bit of work on the backend of the website, because I have a goal. The website already works really well as a Progressive Web Application(PWA), enough so that it is nearly ready to join the app store.

Nearly everyone that I show FartDump to suggests that it should be an app. This site targets the younger in age or heart(take your pick) crowd. The younger in age crowd don't know what websites are, I don't think. So, in order to get more exposure, I think this is the next logical step for the website. There is one caveat though.

 Fuck Apple, I'm not spending $99 per year to get the app on their app store. If you are on Apple just visit the website and click install when prompted lol.

Google only charges $25 once and I think I've already paid that at one time so maybe I won't need to again. This site already costs me quite a bit to keep up, so unless tons of people start donating or clicking on the Amazon affiliate links, I don't see me worrying about the Apple store in the near future.

I Broke Baby Launcher

I play Baby Launcher a lot! Today, while taking a fairly moderate poop, I broke the game. After hitting about 55,000 meters the baby was flying so fast that the code that cleans up old objects broke! For instance, as a trampoline goes off screen to the left, the game deletes that object from memory to keep the game running smoothly. I got the baby to go so fast that the clean up code was deleting objects instantly as they spawned. That is hopefully fixed now as I adjusted the math to stop this. Check out this personal best though!

Homepage Layout Thoughts

I like coding, but I am terrible at design. As you can see 🤣. The homepage has been on my mind for quite a while now. The other day I had an awesome idea. A FartDump styled terminal that simply outputs recent game scores from the database. We already have the high scores on the game pages, but it would be fun to have them outputting to the homepage as well.

With the terminal in place it could turn into much more later, like another way to submit secrets even. The sky would be the limit. The only problem would be that for the casual user, which is most of the traffic here, it would be a pain point to figure out how to use it.

I mocked up a crude html/CSS layout to see what it would look like by putting it where the cartoon characters are now next to the secret submit form and it looked worse than the cartoon characters.

In fact, over the last few months, I've mocked up several new homepage layouts as the current one just doesn't feel right. But, time and time again, they all feel worse than what I currently have up.

I'm sort of combining styles now. FartDump is a mix I like to call "Cartoon-Brutalism^tm." Maybe I need to cruise the web a bit deeper for some inspiration. If you have some ideas for the homepage.... Let Me Know!

Random Thought

Technology is a runaway freight train to our own demise. We can try to stop advancements in AI, but there will always be someone secretly working to advance it in a lab somewhere.

Where The Hell Have You Been?!?

Sorry I haven't posted much lately, Brock has been making me work on his website. Also, I have been glued to the news this last week watching the shit show in Iran. But, fear not, FartDump has not been neglected.

Game Update

Rectal Blaster 9000 updates finally got pushed live. It feels more like an actual game now with progression, bosses, more UI/UX notifications and much more.

Touch Grass

I had fun this morning building some grass for the footer of the website. It really ties the site together as you start with your head in the clouds and as you reach the bottom you can touch grass.

Merging Files

JavaScript files are starting to run amuck on the site. I try to keep things separate so it is easier to modify the code later, but I finally feel confident enough to begin merging the files together so we aren't making so many async calls as a page loads.

I managed to merge 4 JavaScript files into 1 and I think I can get that down even further.

Even when it appears that I am not working on the site, trust me, I am. 😂

Code Breaker Fixes

This game has had a few bugs that I keep thinking I've fixed then they show back up later. The main bug that has been haunting me is when on mobile the initials modal won't trigger your devices keyboard. That is all fine and well as long as you can still use the keyboard on the canvas that you use for the game. The issue I keep having is that the canvas keyboard keeps getting blocked when the initials modal pops up.

This is mostly due to a firing order of the functions. I think... I think, I have finally fixed the issue today.

If you don't know who I am or about my other projects, I also run a little website called StellarHistory.com. The Code Breaker game just feels like a natural fit for that website, so I have been stripping it down and reworking it to fit that website. In doing so, this caused me to have a sit down and read every line of code once again to understand how everything works.

I have cobbled these games together over the course of about one year now, so things get patched, moved, and reworked in bits. This inevitably causes bugs along the way. It may not appear I have been busy working on the site, but I assure you, I'm back here hunting down small, annoying bugs. If you find a feature on the website not working properly, please let me know. I would be eternally grateful!

Use the CONTACT form to let me know what you found. It's quick, easy and as always, anonymous if you so choose.

Not A What, But A Why

I gather the bare essential information while you visit this site. Privacy is taken into account with everything I do.

That's great for you, the user, but it makes my job harder. When you first visit, an anon_id is set in your browser so the site can distinguish between visitors. That way I can tell if one person is spam-refreshing a page or if ten different people showed up.

It's far from bulletproof, but it's the best I can do right now to see what's popular and where to focus my time.

I started adding games last spring, so I've had some time to see what sticks and what doesn't.

Google Search Console also tells me what people are searching for to get here, so I factored that in too.

Code Breaker has easily been the most popular page, even beating the homepage.

So that's the long way of saying I reordered the games on the menus and homepage based on what people actually play. If you were wondering why things moved around, now you know.

Content Moderation Fun

I really hate censorship and have tried to avoid it as much as possible, but being an anonymous website, we all knew it was coming. lol

The number one request I get is for some type of reporting system. Today, I started working on one. It is far from finished though. For now, you can click the little flag on secrets and comments and report obvious junk that needs to be culled from the wall.

The code for the secrets has become unwieldy, so any changes I make take awhile to implement. Over the next week, I'll work to make the reporting system more robust and do my best to start getting rid of the junk from the wall. The hope is that this will make the secrets wall more engaging and avoid all of the "I farted" junk that has become somewhat prevalent. 

Bare with me as I'll surely introduce some unintentional bugs as I work through the codebase. As always, if you find a bug please let me know on the contact page.

Website Menu

It's rather embarrassing how long I have put off rebuilding the desktop menu. Websites are like upside down buildings. The header is your foundation both metaphorically and literally. The Header code determines most of the way the site actually functions. For that reason I haven't really wanted to mess with it for the longest time. A hamburger menu on a desktop site is lazy and bad UX/UI, but fuck you, this is a hobby project. Also, I wanted to keep the site minimal looking as I could.

But.... I think the reason the secrets are still the main attraction at FartDump is because, well, that's all you see when you first hit the website. Most people that stumble across FartDump see that secret submission form and either roll their eyes and bounce or drop a secret, maybe read a few from the wall then leave. 

Less than 20% of visitors(I'm spit-balling) actually find the other features. So, it was time to bring the desktop menu back to showcase some of FartDump's other content.

I've been testing on as many devices as I can, as well as in dev tools. But sometimes, dev tools lies to me. If I broke the layout for you in any way, let me know!

If I got it right, you shouldn't notice any change on mobile.

Rectal Blaster 9000 Improvements

Rectal Blaster has been an ongoing pain in my ass. How appropriate. I was having difficulty getting the game to render well across all devices. So, instead of using the canvas width and height, I switched over to using DPR, which uses your devices pixel size instead of the canvas size. This took me a bit, but I think it was worth it. It plays much better on phones now. It does on mine anyway.

Health clouds were added so you can extend your play indefinitely if you get good at the game.

I also added a pause button just under the mute button with a pop-up modal. This is typically done on games where I use someone else's music in the background. It's a good way to take care of two birds with one stone. Versioning information can be put on the modal as well as giving the musician proper credits, and you can pause the game if you are on a roll, but need to pause for a moment in order to bear down on that mighty turd you are inevitably working on while visiting FartDump.

The plan is to have the pause button toggle to a play button, right now you have a huge resume game button so it isn't dire atm. I'll also mute the music when paused later as well. For now, I'm tired and need a break.

If you haven't played it yet, play RECTAL BLASTER 9000 and let me know what you think.

Sniffing Your Own Farts Is Good For Your Brain

No joke, a recent study on mice has shown that the hydrogen sulfide in your farts may improve memory and stave off the effects of Alzheimer's. As if I needed a good reason.

 >>>Article Link<<<

I Don't Usually Do This

I've been looking for a house for some time now. Desperate to find anything, I stumbled upon this shady real estate agent's website. I called the number and long story short, it was a 900 number and cost me a $200. The agent said he would reimburse me if I promoted his website on FartDump, apparently he is a fan. In hindsight, I wish I would have looked around his website a bit more. But, here goes...

Brock Nebula is the best, most greatest real estate agent around. If you are looking to buy or sell or rent in the near future contact Brock for all of your real estate needs.

Visit BrockNebula.com

Rectal Blaster 9000

I have been working on a new game for months now. It was a betting game where you guess which ball would win, then you unleash them and it turns into a bit of an ASMR ball physics scenario. It never felt right. After numerous rebuilds and tweaks and just trying anything to make it feel like a fun experience; I couldn't make it work.

Last week, I got the idea to just turn it into a sideways shooter. They have been done to death, but most of the games on FartDump have a predecessor in one form or another.

So, that's how Rectal Blaster 9000 was born. It still plays absolutely horrible on phones, but runs pretty good on pc. It's actually kind of fun to play. There are many features that still need to be added, but I thought I would go ahead and put it up on the homepage so everyone can try it out.

I started to call it Fart Blaster 9000, but decided to go with Rectal Blaster 9000. So, I keep messing up and typing Fart instead of Rectal, lol. Check back often as I keep adding new features and functionality. For now, my brain is fried. It's time for a break.

Good Morning!

I'm beginning to awaken from my game induced coma. Where I was once sitting on my sofa building this site in my living room; I have now setup a "home office" where more attention can be directed towards my websites.

Some minor style and quality of life changes were made today.

Yesterday, the Dotz game got some much needed love. I have found myself playing it quite a bit more. Go check it out and let me know what you think.

Did you know

 An orgasm can temporarily dull pain better than morphine. Brain scans show it floods the body with endorphins and oxytocin, enough to reduce migraines, cramps, and even tooth pain. Your nervous system basically yells "SHUT IT ALL DOWN, SOMETHING AWESOME IS HAPPENING."

The next time you get a headache, skip the Tylenol, and go fuck yourself.

Sorry for the radio silence. November is my annual "vanish into a video game" month, and this year I bought Farming Simulator 25. Considering I sank almost 3,500 hours into FS22, this shouldn’t shock anyone.

I probably won’t touch FartDump’s code again for a couple months. That’s fine. Breaks are good; when I come back, the codebase will get a fresh pair of eyes run over it.

I’ll still pop in to clean up hate-speech and obvious bot spam, so the Wall of Secrets won’t turn into a war zone.

FartDump isn’t abandoned. I’m just plowing digital fields to distract me in these colder months. Keep posting your secrets. I’ll be back when the crops are harvested.

Click The Potato Broke Again

I noticed today that I was getting several 1 point Click the Potato games. That's weird because it's so damn addictive, no one can resist clicking at least 2 times. 

After some debugging I think I found the problem. PHP and the Database were not agreeing on timestamps. The time change in the USA seems to have knocked the two off by a few seconds.

I added some reinforcement to the logic that I hope fixes the problem for good. Penis Fingers crossed.